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March 18, 2018


The Magic Mullah Money Orb

RIYADH, SAUDI ARABIA (AP) — In a stunning show of transparency yesterday, members of the press pool were permitted a photo-op depicting Donald Trump, Saudi King Salam and Egyptian President el-Sisi groping the Magic Mullah Money Orb. The ancient artifact is all that remains of Aladdin’s lamp, though its exact provenance remains hotly contested by

Trump Drama

ABU DHABI, UAE (AP)–In an abrupt departure from itinerary, sources report President Trump made an unannounced landing at the United Arab Emirates capital airport where he promptly deplaned Air Force One and boarded a second, unidentified aircraft. Sources further state only Trump and his long-time body-man Keith Schiller boarded the unmarked Gulfstream GF650, which appears

The Republican Playbook

  Folks, once again, here’s the Republican formula for winning elections: We have to cheat. The End. If we hadn’t gerrymandered America like a soft pretzel, we’d have never taken control of the House. If we didn’t make sure voter suppression was in place in predominantly black and Hispanic regions, we’d never get our candidates

Tea Party Protests We Can Believe In

Monday we enjoy both the benefits and detriments of the 16th Amendment to the Constitution which has permitted income taxation by Congress for the last 100 years. Also on that day in all 50 states, “grass-roots” tax protests of varying authenticity will occur outside post offices, government buildings and town squares as thousands bemoan the

Double Dog Dare, McConnell

(Spoiler Alert: this is SATIRE) Sorry gang, I’m with McConnell on this one. This Garland guy sounds like a bum. He’s not qualified to sit on the Supreme Court, because he’s not an authority on Constitutional Law. He was a judge on the DC Court of Appeals. Pffffttt…small potatoes. This president’s already seated two Associate

Carly’s Behavioral Issues

Behavioral health issues are a thing, I sympathize, and I take no pleasure in noting certain tics, tells, and other gestalt giveaways with this unfortunate case. But running for high office or mismanaging sound companies into the ground are questionable therapeutic models for Carly’s treatment. I theorize she was always a moderately bright, vicious, unhappy,

Trump/Palin 2016: The Worst Ticket and a Most Awkward Endorsement

  Alright folks, I am going to break my self-imposed moratorium on discussing all things related to the 2016 Presidential Race because I just finished watching Sarah Palin’s endorsement of “The Donald,” and I can’t tell if it was real or something scripted for Saturday Night Live. Yeah, I know, it’s a shocker right? Sarah

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